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A Sucky Situation Part Two

Click here to read part 1

To fully understand the depth of Salar’s emotions, you have to understand the history. You have to understand the background that led us to make certain decisions that we did, including the decision to cut her out of our lives.

Salar would often tell me stories about how miserable his sister would make his life, but that him and his dad wouldn’t say anything just to keep her happy. He would tell me about how much harder she made his childhood, constantly screaming and fighting with everyone in the house and causing chaos. Maybe that was her way of coping with the loss of their mom and grandparents. He would tell me that she would take his allowance money and wouldn’t give it to him until he did things that she wanted him to do, and would torment him when they had to share a room. To help him out, Tata (a mother figure to him) would pick him up from school every day and take him with her to work.

When Salar’s father became ill for the last few years of his life and required constant care, Salar and his sister teamed up to provide the best care for him. Salar would hire caretakers left and right, and Sheri would constantly drive them away. She would have bursts of rage, alternating between yelling at the caretakers and at her father. Salar would tell me she would often fight with her father and blame him for ruining her life, and she would say mean things like “I hope you die” in Persian. Because Sheri used to always talk so highly of her father in front of me, I didn’t believe Salar when he would tell me these things. But then I would hear the same thing from a relative who stayed with Sheri and her father in London for a few weeks, and I was shocked. Apparently things got so bad that everyone decided it was best for Sheri to move out and into Salar’s apartment that was close by, so that she could have some space and time for herself to sort things out. Salar often tears up when talking about this difficult time and becomes angry and regretful that he could not do more to keep the last years of his dad’s life more peaceful.

So up until Sheri passed away, she would call my mom and tell her that she “raised” Salar and that she was the only one taking care of their father when he was ill, and how she doesn’t understand why Salar won’t talk to her. This would enrage Salar, and upon hearing these things his eyes would pop out of his head and his veins would pop out of his neck and I could almost see fire in his eyes. He would pace back and forth claiming that was complete bullshit….how she LOVED to self glorify….and how in reality she made his and his dads life ten times more difficult with her mental health problems.

Although during those difficult times Sheri would constantly stress Salar out, he still loved her and tried to help her. After their father passed away he decided to move to Orange County. He felt bad that his sister would be lonely in London, and tried to convince her to move to Orange County also, where they have a lot of relatives and the overall atmosphere is a happy one. He booked her a ticket to go visit and stay with family members. So she went, stayed with some relatives, and decided that she does not like the people or the area, and so she went back to London. Salar would still often try to persuade her into moving there also so she can be close to him but she absolutely refused.

A few years later, I met Salar and we got engaged. For our engagement and for Christmas we invited Sheri over to stay with us. During this trip, Sheri had an amazing time and we begged her to move to the US and live in the apartments across the street from us, or at least visit regularly. She would often tell us she doesn’t like traveling and that it is difficult for her, and that she is more comfortable in London.

The next time Sheri visited was for our wedding, where we again begged her to move here so she can be close to us and closer to all her relatives. She had a good time, but we could tell that something was not right, and that she seemed restless and depressed. Because she would often state that she is extremely lonely in London, we told her she should join us in parts of our honeymoon, so that she will have something happy again to look forward to. She then met us in Italy and stayed with relatives. It was here where we started to notice she was deteriorating fast. While in Italy we tried to convince her to again, either move to the US so she can be surrounded by family, or move to Italy so she can be close to her Italian side of the family. One minute she would tell us that she has decided to move to Italy, Virginia, or Arizona, and the next minute she would change her mind. Every day she would decide something, and then the next day she would completely change her mind. After a month long honeymoon, we went back to the US not expecting what would happen next with her.

Click here for part 3

About: Leila Rahmanian and Salar Rahmanian

Leila Rahmanian is married to Salar Rahmanian. They live in the San Francisco Bay Area and have three wonderful kids, two boys named Valentino Rahmanian and Caspian Rahmanian and a beautiful daughter named Persephone Rahmanian.